Dear Pampers How do you sleep at night? I feel robbed and cheated! You said 12 hours, you promised, you even had a smiley baby with a clean dry bottom, waddling around on all your advertisements. You charge your consumers a premium rate for quality, which I was happy to pay until I realised that perhaps your “12 hours” was a misprint.. did you mean 1 or 2 hours, did they leave out the “or” and print the numbers 1 and 2 together, in error? Have I not read your fine print properly, is there a hidden clause relating to the 12 hours? A clause along the lines of “only if your baby pees twice a day, will the diaper last for 12 hours.” First I notice my son’s funny gait, which immediately alerts me to the fact that something’s up with his diaper. Next I follow the golden trail of tiny gel balls littering the floor as he toddles along, by the time I get to him, the diaper has split clear down the side, spilling its gel contents all over my house – or worse, the house of someone we are visiting. Come on, it would be easier if I let him run around naked and moped up his wee, compared to cleaning up this gel like mess everyday! People have suggested that maybe Liam just wees alot, but how much wee can a 2 year old possibly generate in such a short period of time, his bladder is the size of a walnut! It’s pretty much like two ply toilet paper, we buy it because it is more absorbent, hence you use less, so it lasts longer and ultimately you save money in the grand scheme of toilet paper things. SAME CONCEPT – I pay more for diapers, but they are more absorbent, so I don’t have to change him so often, which means they last longer, which means I ultimately save more money in the grand scheme of diaper things, right? NOT the case in my situation! I’m changing diapers faster than Proctor and Gamble are manufacturing them, I’m spending more money on Dettol Clean Tile, mopping up the floor, than I am on diapers! Where is the sense in all of this? Humph!! Look Pampers, all I am saying is this.. if I have to change another diaper before the 12 hours is up, you will be forcing me to use a more “Cuddlesome” or “Huggable” brand of diaper.

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