I had a moral dilemma the other day, relating to my children and I chose the solution that wasn’t exactly legal or right, but which worked at the time. This got me thinking about all the things I said I would NEVER EVER UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ABSOLUTELY NOT DO with or to my kids – and two years and two babies on, I’ve broken almost each and every rule – and sometimes more than once. So I thought I’d compile a list of some of these things and I’m hoping that I can get an AMEN from some poor mother who is paddling this same parenting boat. So here they are, in no order of importance; rather in order of how one horrifying mistake dredges up another in your memory.. and then another.. and then another.. and before you know it, you’re feeling like a nominee in the World’s Worst Mother category at the Problem Parenting Awards. Anyway, that list:
1. I’ve administered medicine to my HEALTHY children, just to make them sleep.
2. I’ve left my sleeping baby in the car to quickly run into the garage shop to draw money or buy bread.
3. I’ve sat in the front seat of a moving vehicle with my baby on my lap (unbuckled) because he or she could not be consoled any other way.
4. I’ve fed my children yoghurt for supper.
5. I’ve left a dirty diaper on longer than necessary because I was too tired to change diaper number 24 in as many hours.
6. I’ve pulled bedtime closer by artificially darkening the room, just so they could go to sleep.
7. I’ve jammed my kid’s finger in the car door – twice.
8. I’ve failed to brush Liam’s teeth – because sometimes it just takes too much effort on his part, and mine.
9. I’ve given my kids a wet-wipe bath. (They were Pampers wet wipes ok?)
10. I’ve mislaid a toy that I was asked especially to look after and blamed the hired help.
11. I’ve reused a dirty bottle because a crying baby can’t always wait for the wash/sterilise/boil/cool process.
12. I’ve left Hannah’s hair unwashed for over two weeks. Another tedious and stressful job for both her and me.
13. I’ve lied about where I was going, just so that my kid wouldn’t want to come with me.
14. I’ve eaten their Easter Eggs, gotten stuck into their party packs and eaten all the purple, red and black sweets in the bag – and blamed Daddy.
15. I’ve misinterpreted the cries of my baby, and made Hannah, with a painful ear infection, wait almost a week to go and see a doctor.
16. I’ve ignored Liam yelling and running buck wild in a restaurant, and made like he wasn’t mine.
17. I’ve smacked a bottom in sheer frustration. (anyone will tell you that the worst time to administer discipline is when you are still angry)
18. I’ve “re-gifted” their birthday or Christmas presents because I’d forgotten to get a gift for the birthday party they were invited to.
19. I’ve left Liam’s hands unwashed after using the toilet. Come on, he takes forever! He insists on putting the plug in the sink, splashing the water about, soaping up to his elbows. A full 15 minute process. Give me a break!
20. I’ve had a serious meltdown in front of my children. And only their wide eyed silent stares alerted me to the fact that I had frightened them half to death.
Right, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I hope this blog will in no way affect my retirement – kids I did it all out of love for you!
Mamas out there, can I get an AMEN?