So while Liam frolics on the beach, stays up late and plays with his cousins all day, I sit here pining for him. Perhaps pining is too strong a word. We are enjoying the peace and quiet, and being able to toss a coin to decide who has to feed, bath and put the baby to sleep, while the other parent gets to vegetate on the couch and stare at the wall (something parents just don’t get to do anymore), doing absolutely nothing because there’s only one child to see to… we are enjoying going out for dinners alone and spoiling Hannah with our full attention. But all this doesn’t mean I don’t miss my baby boy; it doesn’t mean I don’t lie awake at night wondering if he is ok, if he is dreaming about me, missing me. But his excited chatter on the phone, assures me that he is not missing us at all. He is having the time of his life, even though he dutifully answers “yes mama” when I ask if he’s missing me. Here’s some of the everyday things I miss about my big-baby-boy…
- Not knowing what I’m going to get every morning. Some days he bounces out of bed, ready to take on the world with a loud laugh and a high five. Other mornings, he ducks his head under the pillow and I have to tickle his toes, go on my knees, sing a song and promise him the moon just to get him to surface.
- 2000 20 questions before 7am. You’d think I’d be glad for a break from the interrogation, right? But not so, my brain misses its early morning workout, as I pick it for answers to the most ridiculous questions like why am I painting my face (applying makeup), why doesn’t Barney wear a nappy, why does Daddy sleep in my bed, why can’t I use Mommy’s toothpaste (and his panic when I let him taste the burn-y big people’s Aquafresh, and it sends his taste buds into overdrive).
- I miss being told how beeoootiful I am, even when I know my shirt is slightly creased and my hair looks like a fuzzball and I’m disguising my un-pedicured toes in big chunky boots that don’t match my outfit, even though its 32 degrees outside.
- Watching Liam being a big brother to Hannah – whether it’s helping her off the high bed, or trying to pat her mad-scientist hairdo down so she looks “clean”, or picking up her dummy when it slips out of her mouth. And I think she misses it too, or at least, wonders where her hero is when she’s in a tricky situation.
- Free hugs and kisses. For nothing. Especially when he holds my cheeks in between his chubby little hands and plants a smacker right on my lips.
- I miss laying in the dark at bed time and listening to him say his prayers. Then listening to him toss and turn and frump his pillow until he finds just the right spot to sleep in – just like I do.
- Getting a “good job mama” every time I do anything remotely positive. Like drink from a glass without spilling.
- Reciting poetry and singing out aloud while pushing the trolley through the shopping mall. You just can’t get away with this if you don’t have a toddler, you will just look like a loony. Believe me, I tried it yesterday.
- Spending minutes exchanging dialogue from either side of the toilet door, because I am no longer welcome in the toilet when Liam has to go. I agree most of the time, unless we’re in a public area, because I can’t have those little hands touching dirty sanitary bins and poking at that air freshener thing that looks like a disease waiting to happen. Yup, caught him in the act.
- Getting our exercise on, to Boogie Beebies. Shame Hannah tries, but Liam is way more entertaining to watch with his two left feet – totally gets that from his Dad.
So don’ t be fooled by my bravado when I tell you this break is marvelous, because truth be told, I miss my boy like a frying pan misses an egg.