Our December holiday was fantastic! Here are the highlights (and some lowlights) of our time away. It was a long holiday, so it’s going to be a long read!
After all my careful planning, and a most relaxing Christmas Eve at home, Christmas morning was a complete disaster. The kids came running down the stairs to see what Father Christmas had delivered, Liam dashed straight over to Hannah’s plastic red bike (you know those simple noisy bikes that are really just good for making a racket?) and completely ignored his fabulous big boy Barney bike with the shiny training wheels. When I
forced turned his head over to the left, and held my hands on the sides of his head to focus his vision on the Barney bike (kinda like how horses use blinders to focus), he wriggled out of my grip and jumped onto the red bike. Hannah was still dumbstruck by the Christmas tree with its blinking lights, as she had been for most of the festive season, and didn’t even notice the gifts under it. Special child. So it went pear shaped when we forced Liam off Hannah’s new bike and he threw a total wobbly, giving his Barney bike a good kick in disgust. He wanted nothing to do with his other presents, so Hannah opened them all. Ungrateful little person. In all the commotion my roast in the oven almost burned to a cinder, we were late for church, and Christmas morning was basically massacred.
But the pièce de résistance of the whole holiday would have to have been the plane ride home. The Hubby had left a few days earlier because someone does need to pay the bills, so he had to get back to work. I had no qualms about flying with both kids, I’ve sat in a car ALL the way to Cape Town with them, how hard could a one hour flight be? We had flown before so I knew they could handle the flight, but I did have the hubby with me on those occasions. So just before we left the house, Hannah made a dribbly poo right through her pants. The bags were packed and although I did have a set of clothing in her nappy bag, I was keeping those for the actual flight, in case there was an in-flight emergency! I washed the stinky patch, I threw it in the tumble drier, willing it to dry in the 5 seconds we had left before we needed to go. That didn’t work, so we put the pants on the car dashboard hoping that the Durban sun would fry it dry. That didn’t work either. So well, Hannah went pant-less. There we were, dressed to the nines…and Hannah with no pants on. Whatever possessed me to pack all our toiletries into one massive UNLOCKABLE bag, I will never know. I tried to stuff as much of it as I could into the big suitcase, but I still had a heavy bag full of toiletries as hand luggage, which I had to lug around, along with the nappy bag, one toddler on my hip and the other toddler wanting to hold my hand… he NEVER wants to hold my hand, all of a sudden when I actually need my hand for other things, he wants to hold it. Of course we were boarding from the gate which was as far from check in, as east is from west. We snail paced our way over to the boarding gate, when Liam tugged at my hand and pointed to his crotch, indicating that he needed to go. All I thought was, please Lord make it be a wee and not a poo which would require me to drop what I was holding so I could wipe. It was a pee, so off we traipsed AGAIN, back to the toilets. We eventually found our way back to the queue, still fairly early because I made sure we had extra time for all the possible delays one could encounter with two children. After hanging around for what felt like forever, the kids rolling on the carpet, I noticed that there was a vital part missing at the end of the walk through tunnel… the aeroplane. I checked the boards, no mention of a delay, in fact it said we were boarding. We.stood.there.for.45.minutes. The kids getting more and more restless. Again I prayed, please Lord don’t let them start screaming simultaneously from boredom! PLEASE! Liam’s excitement of going on the aeroplane and sitting by the window and seeing the clouds, fast turned to irritation at having to wait so long. Hannah’s nap time was approaching and we all know how babies go into meltdown mode when they are tired. I could feel the sweat gathering under my newly cut fringe, although my hair going home was the last of my worries… I WANTED TO GO HOME! I had to bribe Liam with a R50 note, which I said he could use to buy himself something from the nice lady on the aeroplane. That shut him up for a while. We eventually boarded an hour later, both kids were so exhausted that they were asleep before we left the ground. I took the R50 out of Liam’s hand and bought myself a chocolate and a packet of chips, because I deserved it. The last bit of drama which I won’t go into detail about involved the travelator (you know that flat escalator thing that you find in most airports) and Liam going head to head. I have never been more excited to see my husband in my life, and the only thing he could say was “where’s Hannah’s pants.”
This account is by no means, a true reflection of our whole holiday. There were precious moments with the kids… Hannah’s vocabulary which I have been worried about increased dramatically, she spewed out about ten new words a day. She’s at the stage where you say “say X” and she says it, so cute! Liam’s vocabulary… well that’s another story altogether. I spent quality time with those closest to me, I stayed in my pyjama’s all day, I relaxed in the sun, I drank a lot of tea, and I spent a fair amount of time in Dischem because I desperately needed to be poked as my contraceptive injection was 5 days overdue and there was no way I wanted ANY SORT OF SURPRISE THAT NEEDED TO BE BURPED in 2012. Turns out people on the coast like to have cholesterol, diabetes and all those other free tests Discovery offers you, in the week between Christmas and New Year, so I had to chemist-hop a bit.
Our holiday was just long enough…any longer and my kids would have been mistaken for Aborigines and I would have turned into a sloth. Onward and upward towards the Easter holidays, I say!