As I do every year on your birthday, here is your love letter from me to you. xx
Where has the time gone, I remember the day you were born as if it was yesterday. We had just moved into our new house that week, I was busy upacking boxes, moving furniture and packing my hospital bag, right up until the night before you were born. I was so anxious because I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with you, even though I had carried you for 40 weeks. I was always so busy with your brother, and then we had to sell our house and move, and I was so consumed with that, that I didn’t really give you the attention you deserved. We hadn’t done up a nursery for you, we hadn’t even unpacked all your clothes and I felt like you would know this and hold it against me.
I got up early to have a shower and I held my big belly for the last time and I felt excited at the thought of finally meeting you. I even applied light make up, can you believe it? Make up to go and deliver a baby! I kissed your brother good bye and told him that I’d have a big surprise for him when I came home. I was pretty chilled about the whole procedure, after all we had been down this road before. I was a bit embarrassed when the sisters at the hospital recognised me from the year before, but I was glad to be in good hands because they had done a great job with your brother. We laughed our way through your birth, my gynae and anaesthetist were making jokes about the fact that I was back so soon and that we should make a date to get together again to deliver baby number 3 the next year! NOT funny! But just as you were born, the room fell silent, almost in reverence to the miracle of life that was unfolding right before our very eyes. I remember the look in your Dad’s eyes as they lifted you up, his precious daughter. How he loves you, Hannah! And then they laid you on my chest and you were the teeniest tiniest baby I had ever seen, you had a thick mop of black hair and the longest little fingers. You were beautiful. I was so overwhelmed because even though you were our little “surprise,” I knew exactly why God had brought you to me, I felt like my heart would burst with this overflowing fullness of joy.
At 2.8kg’s, you were tiny compared to your brother at birth. I was amazed at your mini chicken wing thighs, your little feet and your small pink bottom! You were so calm and relaxed and the sweetest little girl. You were such a good baby and you fitted right into our family, like you were always meant to be there.
Hannah, you are a beautiful girl, inside and out. Your capacity to love stretches way beyond your years. I’m not sure
what I would do without your free kisses and hugs every day. Sometimes you are quite demanding and expect kisses and hugs at times which are not always convenient, like when Mommy is in the shower and you yell at me to kiss you goodbye, like the shower is a door into another world. You delight us every day with the things you do and the words you say. Having a daughter is a wonderful gift for a mom, and I imagine the days when we will do each other’s hair and makeup, when we’ll go shopping and you’ll make me walk around for HOURS while you try and find the perfect pair of shoes, how we’ll cry while watching a romantic comedy while Dad and Liam laugh at us.
Thank you, my darling girl, for the amazing space that you fill in our family. You are becoming a feisty little one, and I love how you’ve come out from behind my skirt tails, and shown everyone who’s boss! I don’t even want to tame that spirit, I love it! I thank God for you every day and I pray that as you grow you will continue to be a source of sunshine to all you meet.
I love you intensely and forever.