Ok so Hannah is potty training and doing pretty well. She tells us when she wants to make a wee, we take her to the toilet, she makes a wee, we wash hands. Job well done. We have even been out to the shops and to church, diaper free, with no accidents. Of course every mother who has been through potty training knows that poo is a completely different ball game to pee, right. Poo training is a little…well… harder – pun intended.
I’m not sure what it is for little kids, maybe they think the turd will jump up and bite their bums. Maybe it’s the long drop and the splash back that frightens them. Maybe it’s just to personal to be shared with mom and dad standing by ready to clap and take a photo and big brother cheering the poo-er on. All I know is that Hannah refuses to poo in the toilet. I knew it was going to happen, every single kid and parent I know will tell you that taking a dunk for the first time in a toilet is a big deal for a toddler and that it takes time and lots of accidents. I also know that your kid will try their utmost to keep that chocolate log indoors, rather than flush it down the toilet like the rest of humanity, so it can also interfere with their bowel movements and that brings on another set of problems altogether. I also know that both my kids used to go and hide when they needed to make a poo – from the time they could walk, nappy or not. So I DO know when Hannah needs to go, but even if I catch her just in time, she won’t do it on the toilet, and by the time she has thrown that tantrum and I have managed to coerce her to put her nappy back on just to make this poo, the poo has shot back up into her large intestine in fright. Understandable right. So my plan (and believe me I considered all options and this seemed like the best option at the time) was to just let her go in her pants, rather than put her off altogether.
Not my brightest idea. But hey constipation is like a pain in the gut – did you see what I just did there? Ha. I didn’t want to deal with potty training PLUS having to insert glycerin suppositories to coax the scared poo out.
I’ve caught poo twice, with my bare hand in the last two weeks. I’ve had to stand at a sink in a public swimming area and rinse skid marked panties ( I flushed the poo first, relax). I’ve had to separate small tight buttocks who refused to give up the goods which were stuck tight between two cheeks because this kid does not want to let it go, I tell ya. I’ve had to follow a panty and poo pebble trail to find the victim guiltily crouching behind the couch. I’ve had to endure all of this, because I still think it’s better for her and for me, rather than pinning her screaming terrified body down to the toilet and forcing her to excrete her bodily waste. SO I just let her do it, wherever and whenever, in her pants – and hope that it’s at home and not in the meat aisle at Pick n Pay. The things moms have to do hey.
This method however is not a long term solution – this is where my plan fails me.
I can’t have a six year old Hannah still hiding behind the couch and letting rip in her panties because mommy said it was ok four years ago. I also can’t be picking up poo with my bare hands for much longer, I mean my unconditional love most definitely has its conditions when it comes to bodily functions ok. I keep encouraging her to poo in the toilet, we do live demonstrations where we sit on the toilet and make the necessary grunts and facial expressions to show her that its cool ok, poo in the toilet is cool. Not poo in mommy’s hand.
No amount of bribing has worked so far. I’ve got this potty training star chart which I’m going to implement in the hopes that it will give her the courage she needs to defecate in the dunking machine. In the mean time, I’ll keep my nails short, my hair back, and the disinfectant hand wash on steady supply.