Ok, not even a billionaire. Not even a millionaire. I wish I didn’t have to worry about money. I honestly think that a lot of my problems would disappear if I had a lot of money. Everyone who doesn’t have a lot of money says that that is not true, that the rich have many more problems, but I’m sorry I don’t believe that for one minute. I think you’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Ha. Of course the rich have other problems, I don’t think money makes your life perfect. But let’s be honest, they aren’t laying awake at night wondering how they are going to afford school fees, or how they are going to make ends meet with the price of EVERYTHING going up drastically, and salaries going up not so drastically – or at all.
I am not complaining, I totally understand that the majority of South Africans are living way, way below the breadline. I am blessed / fortunate / privileged to live the life I live. The fact that I have running water in my taps makes me richer than more than half the population. Please understand this is not a post about being ungrateful. Perhaps it’s just a whiny post about how I wish life wasn’t so hard all the time. I KNOW we serve a Mighty God who provides out of His riches – this post is not about that, God is good all the time, I believe that He has my best interests at heart, even when I feel like He doesn’t. But please just indulge my little whine – surely we are allowed to have one now and again. This post is more about my humanity (which makes me whiny and annoying and selfish) than about my spirituality (which makes me transcend the whininess and move forward in faith). So here goes, stop reading if you aren’t human.
Some days I wish I didn’t have to watch every single penny, some days I wish I could walk into a store and buy something I liked without having to look at the price tag first. But it’s not even about the material things so let me retract that statement, although it’s true. Some days I wish I didn’t have to base every single decision I make on my financial standing – which schools to choose, which shop to do my groceries in, which shop to buy the kids the stuff they need like clothes, shoes, toys, etc. WHAT stuff the kids need versus what the kids just want because they’re kids, what toiletries I use, which invitations I accept or decline, which hair salon I go to, which holiday destination I choose, which plumber to call, which quote to go with after phoning 324 suppliers looking for the cheapest to get the job done, which job offer to accept. EVERY.SINGLE .ONE of these decisions are based on what my bank manager tells me is in the bank. I want to use a certain brand because I like it not because it is the most cost effective. I want to send my kids to a school I love, without having to sell one of them to afford the fees. I want to go on holiday to somewhere amazing, and not choose the budget option every time, I want to be able to do the work I love, without having to worry about the pay cheque. I want to open the Yellow Pages and just call the first number I find to get someone to do whatever I need doing. I don’t want to fight over money. Anymore. There are two main themes to our arguments at home. How to raise the kids and finances. That’s it. I’d really, really, really like to cut one of them out, and let’s face it, we’ll never agree on every single thing when it comes to the kids, so I’m hoping to win the Lotto so we don’t have to fight about money!
I don’t want to live from one pay day to the next. I don’t want end of the month salty cracks! I want to live within the constraints of a budget, but I don’t want to be strangled by it. I don’t want the bank to keep offering to up my credit card limit because they can clearly see that this sucker needs it!
So that’s my human rant for the day. I need to step back into my spiritual mindframe because quite frankly, I’d drive myself insane if I had to keep looking at this with human eyes. Seriously, people are killing themselves over financial issues every day, marriages are falling apart because of money.
So one needs to pray for a peace that passes all understanding and look forward to a prosperous future as God has promised. I’m also praying for some sort of wisdom and a damn good idea on how to make a second income – people if you are relying on one income in these uncertain times, I personally think it’s dangerous. Life hey, it ain’t easy folks.
I heard something funny in church this week, and I’m going to make it my mantra for the next few weeks in order to remain upbeat even amidst the ever decreasing bank balance.
My God is not El Cheapo, he is El Shaddai! God Almighty! As long as He is in charge, I’ll go along for the ride – broke but not broken. Ha.