Kissing at weddings and speedy buttons


Today my ratings went through the roof. So far as to say, I may be the coolest mom on the planet right now. My son once again sees me for the amazing, ROARsome (have you guys been watching Henry Hugglemonster?) mom that I am. I was slipping down the scale there for a while, what with all the punishment being metered out in my house at the moment for bad behaviour, but I have rescued myself, I am once again top of the charts.

Today it was just the two of us on the morning commute. I love spending alone-time with each child and the opportunity doesn’t always present itself because of the way our lives are structured, so when I do get to be alone with one child, I really try to make the most of it. So Liam and I were shooting the breeze, catching up, you know.. like moms and sons do. He is very excited about his best school friend coming over for a play date tomorrow. I asked him what I should make them for lunch and he replied “whatever is the fastest for you, mom.” *diesofsweetness* I said he must ask Remy if there was anything he didn’t like to eat and he said “I know he likes hot dogs, we should just give him a hot dog and a slice of cucumber.” OK. A slice of cucumber. For garnish maybe? We chatted about Hannah who is sick at home. We chatted about how married people kiss at their weddings. He asked me how they do it, so I puckered up and closed my eyes and made hmmmm hmmm sounds and showed him how married people kiss (hey, closed mouth kiss, not French kiss) and the kid roared with laughter until the tears were rolling down his cheeks. He asked me about all the couples we knew – how did they kiss on their wedding day? And I made a different slurping kiss-kiss for each of them and I swear, the kid almost wet his pants.

Then he asked me if I have a Speedy Button. I was like huh? What’s that? He said that Sibabalwe’s daddy had a Speedy Button in his car so when he wanted to go super fast he pressed the button and he zoomed off. So do you have Speedy Button, mama? I didn’t miss a beat, I was like oh a Speedy Button, OF COURSE I HAVE A SPEEDY BUTTON HELLLOOO?! His eyes were huge and there was this grin on his face, you know that grin of anticipation that little kids get, that lights up their whole faces and melts their mothers’ hearts. Yeh, that grin. Now bear in mind we were in the heart of Woodmead traffic, going less than 5km’s an hour, so I slowed down almost to a standstill to create a small gap between myself and the car in front of me. A gap no longer than 20 metres at most. I was all goo-goo eyed and watching him in the review mirror and I yelled “are you ready, are you ready?!” and I made sure he was watching as I pressed the rear-window defroster button and I revved and accelerated and we did a bit of a zoom up to the car in front of us. Nothing dangerous, calm down. And the kid went ape. Totally lost it. He was like MORE MORE MORE!! Jumping in his car seat and laughing hysterically. And then I explained that the Speedy Button was generally only used on the freeway because we don’t like to speed, now do we ? And speeding is dangerous, but on the freeway we can go a bit faster and I only did that now to show him how it works, ok? And he was all big eyed and yes, yes, I understand mom. The rest of the journey he babbled on about how he was going to tell EVERYONE that his mom had a Speedy Button in her car and how amazing it was. And how we were going to push it again on the freeway to go super-fast.

Kid was looking at me with adulation in his eyes. Man, it felt good. To play into their imaginations and tap into that incredible spirit of innocence, there is just nothing more fantastic. One day he’ll roll his eyes and be like “mom, I know that button defrosts the back window, hellloooo.” But for now, I have a Speedy Button in my car.

*Disclaimer: please don’t try this move in peak hour traffic, besides the obvious recklessness, other drivers look at you like you’re a loser for trying to speed in bumper to bumper traffic. Which you are, of course, for doing something so irresponsible in the traffic. But yeh, being a loser this morning was totally worth it because I got to be a hero in my son’s eyes for that moment.*

*Disclaimer 2: no cars, boys or mamas were injured in the pressing of this particular Speedy Button* 

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