20 Things that I’ve had to figure out as a single mom…

  1.  Opening the mayonnaise jar, kids’ medicine bottles and the outside bin lid (eeeuw).
  2. Not having anyone to send the kids to when they come to you with awkward questions which you’d rather dodge.
  3. Being stuck on the toilet with no toilet paper and the kids can’t reach that shelf in the toilet paper cupboard.
  4. Getting the hard truth when you ask your 4 year old if your bum looks big in this. Much prefer my husband’s watered down truth.
  5. Having to be in charge of household security. I’ve set the alarm off twice and gone to bed with the back door unlocked once. The security company are going to think I am crying wolf and will stop responding to my false alarms soon.
  6. Eating crazy/badly because there’s no husband to impress with my culinary skills.
  7. Having to drive. Why didn’t anyone tell me how BAD the Joburg traffic really is? Is it just me, or is traffic easier to handle if you’re a passenger versus a driver?
  8. Refreshing my social media feeds every 5 seconds – what else can I do once the entertainment goes beddy-byes at 8pm?
  9. Making my own coffee/tea/milo
  10. Having to make sure there’s petrol in the car. I’ve only just discovered that my car takes 95 unleaded –was stumped when asked the question a few weeks back.
  11. Monitoring the geyser, pool pump, irrigation system and gardener’s pay because he prefers cash weekly, not EFT. Who has TIME for these things??
  12. Dealing with the kids. All.The.Time. I didn’t realise how much time I had to myself because they were busy with their father or irritating him instead of me. Woah, this one has been difficult to adjust to.
  13. You can’t get ice cream cones on the way home. This task requires two parents. One to drive and the other to hang over the front seat cleaning up the ice cream mess in the back. I tried it alone, I almost caused an accident and the back seat, children and car seats needed to be scoured.
  14. How to put the DVD player on. Swopping between AV, HDMI, BLAH, BLAH – I have NO clue. Now I just tell the kids it’s broken.
  15. Having to get up in the morning. I don’t know about you, but there are many mornings when I need a physical shove out of bed in order to get going. I miss the shove.
  16. Someone to take messages. Now I have to listen to voicemail. The kids cannot be trusted to take messages and believe me, they will keep you on the phone for 17 minutes and still not remember who called when I ask.
  17. Slobville. I don’t get dressed up in the week, or put on the nice underwear or wear heels. This surprises me – did I used to dress to please my husband and to get his approval? Apparently.
  18. Bread and milk. Bread and milk money. Sigh. I was never in charge of this, there was just always bread and milk in our house – and I thought we bought these things in bulk at month end, but apparently they run out and someone was clearly replenishing while I was on Twitter or Facebook or something. And then having to swipe my card for R19 because I never carry cash and the garage I go to at 6h30am on a Monday morning doesn’t have a Standard Bank ATM.
  19. Living for the weekend. Literally. Having to count sleeps until Daddy is home. Then counting sleeps until Daddy goes. The amount of counting they are doing, I trust they’ll top the class in Mathematics.
  20. One man spooning. It’s embarrassing. You can’t help but look sad laying in the middle of the bed in the foetal position. Embarrassing and depressing.

6 thoughts on “20 Things that I’ve had to figure out as a single mom…”

  1. I’m so glad your are posting this. My hubby will be working at sea from the 12 December. 4 weeks at sea and 4 weeks at home…so soon I’ll be a single parent too.
    You’re doing great by the way!

  2. At least you do all this with our great sense of humour in tact. My hubby leaves early and only gets home about 6;30 (works in Midrand) so I have my good share of this every day and boy, I know, some times those few hours feel very long

  3. Thank goodness you’re such a capable wife and that Byron can trust you to take care of all these 20 things till he gets back! Love you sis! Xxx

  4. It’s these little (and not so little things) that make us appreciate the people in our lives. Being a single married mom is hard work, you have a good sense of humour about it and that must help a great deal. I dread it too because my hubby works horrendously long hours and I always tell him I could write a book titled “abandoned wife diaries”

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