Just two things (one funny, one scary) …


I wanted to tell you about two newsworthy items. Things I didn’t get time to blog about but I think deserve a mention.

We went to the annual Christmas production at our church two weeks ago. The show is advertised as being suitable for children age three and up and Liam thoroughly enjoyed last year’s production of the Grinch and was very excited to sit in “big church” again this year. Hannah turned three this year so she too was excited to experience her first time in the “big church.” Right. The Polar Express was lovely, a wonderful tale of a little boy who had lost his Christmas spirit, blah blah. However the plot was a bit lost on Hannah. She enjoyed the music and dancing and theatrics, but she couldn’t really follow the story. She was bored. Like half an hour in, the child was whining and whining and ready to go home. But the best part was when she announced REALLY loudly into a darkened and quiet auditorium that “MY VA.GI. NA is SORRRRRRRE” Yup. She made that announcement really loud. And then proceeded to whine on and on about how sore her VA.GI. NA was. There was a lot of sniggering from the people around us. I adjusted her brookie, and did all the things one’s mother does in these awkward situations to make you feel better without really doing anything, but on she went. So folks, while I’ve always maintained that I think it’s important that your children learn the correct terms for their body parts from a young age for a myriad of reasons (their own safety being number ONE), I do think that I would have saved us all a lot of embarrassment had she had another name for it… like flower, petal, cookie, or whatever other weird names people come up.

Then.

Two weeks ago we discovered that a horrible person had broken into Zoleka’s outbuilding at the back of our house. While they didn’t take anything of significant importance, I still feel outraged and upset (and scared) that someone came into MY property and took stuff that didn’t belong to them and and and! With the paranoia of THIS still top of mind, the other night the electricity went out after 10pm. Now. I am not afraid of the dark as such, but I do like to be able to see what’s going on around me, even if it’s in the shadows. But when the lights go off at night, it’s pitch black. No street lights, no shadows, no nothing. I couldn’t even see my hand before my face. I was freaked out. I thank GOD that just the week before, with all the terrible thunder storms we’ve been having, I asked the hubby to please make sure our candles and matches were well stocked in the event of a power outage. I lit about 7 candles in my small little bedroom, I dragged the children from their beds to sleep with me. Because I am crazy like that. And I sat up waiting. For what, I am not sure. I was so MAD when I realised that wi-fi works on electricity and I couldn’t even get online. I mean really. And I have a Wackberry, so I couldn’t chance wasting that battery. About an hour and a half in, the alarm makes a weird noise which I believe signals the battery is now dead and shame, you are basically without security. Sorry for you. Great. So now I’m proper freaked out. Hannah is now awake from all my shenanigans. She’s talking up a storm, asking for supper: child is AWAKE.

THEN.

I hear someone by our big front gate by the driveway. PEOPLE. When I say I went into complete PANIC and my adrenaline went into OVERDRIVE – it was a feeling I have never experienced before. Not like the fear I felt just before the anesthetist administered my spinal block. Not like the fear I felt the day a man walked up to my car window with a sledge hammer and I zoomed off, narrowly escaping a smash and grab. Not like the fear when Liam got his first stitches above his eye. It was ear blocking, heart thumping, shaking, dizzy fear. I see a FLASH LIGHT by the gate. I see the FLASH LIGHT walking in my YARD. I dial my husband, his phone just rings. I dial the alarm company ONLY TO DISCOVER THE NUMBER I HAVE FOR THE ALARM COMPANY ON MY PHONE IS THEIR SALES OFFICE AND NOT THE EMERGENCY NUMBER, I dial 10111. I follow the light and get to Hannah’s bedroom window and I don’t know why but I open the curtain and I start banging on the window and I’m pointing to my phone as if to say “I’m calling the PO-PO, MAN!” (I can’t even explain to you the fear I still feel as I write this.) I can only see his flash light blinding my eyes and I can see he has a BEEEEEG gun on his shoulder. The 10111 person is saying “hello, hello, anyone there” or something like that. Then I hear the dude outside yelling, “MAM, MAM, it’s xxx reaction unit” or something like that.. All this time I am consciously very quiet, I do not want to upset Hannah or alert her to the fact that I am basically pooping myself. He filters the flash light on himself and I see him in our alarm company uniform. He’s yelling “is everything ok, what’s your password, your alarm is off, etc etc etc” I’m confused. The man on the phone is like “IS EVERYTHING OK.” My brain registers, I say to the person on the phone to please hold on, I open the window and the dude seems legit. So I tell 10111 that I think everything is ok and sorry. So the alarm registered as not working, the company phoned Byron’s phone and when there was no answer, a vehicle was dispatched. (I won’t describe the hate mail I sent to poor husband about sleeping like the dead when there was a potential crime scene on our hands.) The dude asks me a million questions and asks about the password, “the safe word” and I’m like I AM FINE, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FRIGHTENED ME HALF TO DEATH. I tell him to please patrol at least until the power comes back on. He gives me his name, goes back out through the gate and leaves. The power comes on about half an hour later. Through all this I was chatting with a night owl friend on Whatsapp, but even once the power was back on, I couldn’t get to sleep. I think the last time I looked at my phone it was like 2am something something and which stage I said “LORD, REMOVE THIS FEAR, I NEED TO SLEEP OR ELSE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FUNCTION TOMORROW.” And I did.

So now.

I thank God that most of that was all in my head and that actually there was nothing to have been afraid of. I thank God for his protection every day. I know that almost every South African can vouch for having being a victim of crime in one way or another, so I am not going to make like this was some incredible event but I can, in some small way, identify with people who have had their privacy and security violated, let alone the awful atrocities that often go down in botched break-ins. Sjoe, I was scared hey.

So anyway. That dog we spoke about months and months ago. He/she is DEFINITELY joining the family as soon as we get back from the December holidays. Not that a dog offers complete protection, but it’s an intimidating presence in the yard and in the home. A dog also serves as an early detection or alert to something going on before it’s like HAPPENING TO YOU, you know what I mean? These are exciting times we living in people, exciting times.

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Here we are. Again.


I actually cannot grasp the fact that the end of the year is upon us. The school year is just about over, we still have the annual concert to attend on Friday, and a week of “holiday programme” to get through next week. But once you get the report cards, you can pretty much call it quits on the school year.

So the report cards.

You’ll remember this post where I expressed concern over Liam’s midyear report. Well I am so proud to say that Liam had an excellent report. He scored a full set of number 1’s across all categories, save one, where he got a number 2 for something. I can’t even remember what it was for, who cares, I don’t when the rest of the report was fantastic. The teacher’s comments were beautiful, truly beautiful and I choked up a bit when I read how well loved my son is. We all want that for our kids, don’t we? It’s not a vanity or an arrogance thing, it’s a parent’s deep desire that their children be well liked wherever they go… and it’s not because we value the opinion of others, or that we want our children to spend their energies on impressing other people. No. It’s a matter of being a genuinely beautiful person on the inside, who others are naturally drawn to. Not being the most popular, or the prettiest. No. It’s about being nice. Having good manners, having a kind and caring heart, being NICE. I think my Liam is a nice boy.

And Hannah. Our dark horse. So full of surprises. Another fabulous report, wonderful words from her teacher and principal. She came into the class late and is the youngest in the class, yet has made her presence felt. She has blossomed into this most delightful little thing. My friends can still not believe how this child has done a complete 360. Still full of buck and very strong willed, but a very different Hannah to the ma-vas snob she used to be. Yes, she was a cry-baby-snob. You couldn’t even baby talk with Hannah, and she would give you the side eye. And she wouldn’t even sit on grass, HATED grass under her feet! SNOB! If you were not her mother, she didn’t want anything to do with you! Now, I think it’s safe to say she talks more than Liam. To anyone. Will wind down her window to have a conversation with the beggar at the robot, will tell you your fortune on demand – whether you asked for it or not, will dance for money, will most definitely give hugs and kisses for mahala.

I can’t believe Liam is going to Grade R next year. Where have the years gone? Grade R!! This makes me feel both happy and sad. Grade R is for big people, not my little Liam! They’ve been wearing longs to school this week with this weird weather. None of Hannah’s jeans fit her! I only bought them this Winter, yet she has just shot up. Don’t believe me? LOOK!! Can you say ankle fighters! We used to fold these jeans up because they were so long!

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It’s just all happening too fast! I have been feeling sooooo broody lately. Like if I could go and buy a baby from the shop, I would. But I think it actually stems from the fact that my own two are growing so fast, I can’t believe we’re here now. And a part of me wishes they could be this small forever. Albeit, a very small part – I mean the baby years where by far the most difficult, but I just wish time could be contained sometimes.

I occasionally let them sleep with me during the week while hubby is away. Just because, you know. And besides being kicked in the ribs all night, and listening to Liam suck on his blasted thumb.. my word it’s like the kid equivalent to being kept awake by snoring, I could watch these two sleep for hours. I mean it’s been almost 5 years and I still can’t believe I am a mother. It’s crazy.

What was my point? Here we are.  Again. The end of another year. It was a hard year. I must blog about 2013 being one of the hardest years in my life. Well other than 2009/2010 which was like the apocalypse  of bad years. But 2013 was a very challenging year, and that we are here, all intact, with good reports nogal, makes me feel so good. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be here, in one piece. Thankful and blessed. That’s where I’m at. Where are you at? Where has this year left you?