As my children grow, I realise that our “moments” are becoming less and less. Yes, there’s still hugs and kisses and “I love yous” but I’m talking about those moments where you have this child in your lap or in your arms and the two of you really have a MOMENT and you are physically pained by the love that you have for this person. When they were babies, we had lots of moments but that’s because they didn’t really have a choice. As they grow up and become more independent, we still have our moments but more often than not, it’s me begging for a moment – “come here and give me some love pleeeeeeease.” More so with Liam. Hannah is a very loving child, her love languages are touch and affirmative words. She’s all about the luurving. She will seek you out to have a moment, she will want a moment even if it’s not convenient for you. This child lives for moments, I love her! Liam cannot be bothered. He is busy; he is at this funny (not funny-haha, funny-irritating) boy age where it’s all about who can laugh the loudest, shout the loudest and fart the loudest. And big-massive-loud guffaws at the latter. It’s almost like living with a college boy. I do try to have at least one moment a day at bedtime where I tell them very seriously how much I love them – Hannah takes this moment very seriously. Liam takes this moment to make jokes.
This morning I started my usual routine of gently coaxing them out of bed while getting myself done. I generally do this by yelling down the passage. “WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY.” And as usual the response this morning was the same as every morning. Nothing. Usually, I carry on getting dressed, applying my makeup, packing my lunch while continuing to yell “UPSY DAISY, TIME TO GET UP.” Nothing. And as the morning wears on, and time gets a-ticking, my yelling becomes more agitated until it’s something more along these lines: “LIAM AND HANNAH GET OUT OF BED BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE AND IF WE ARE LATE I AM GOING TO BE ANGRY.” Even this elicits the same response. Nothing. So I carry Hannah through to my room, I put the TV on, and this usually rouses Liam who comes stumbling through and that’s how we get going.
So today I carried Hannah to my bed and she promptly got under the covers and carried on sleeping, I went to fetch Liam because not even the TV was able to rouse him from his slumber. (Sidenote: I love how my children FINALLY love their sleep. They sleep until 8 or 9am on the weekends, its bliss.) And Liam wrapped his arms and legs around me and when I tried to put him down onto the bed he held on tighter. So I sat down and put him on my lap, and his eyes were still half closed and he was all beautiful with sleep like only babies and small children can be, and he took his thumb out of his mouth and looked up at me and smiled and said “good morning my lovely potato head” and he put his thumb back in his mouth, and found the tag on his vest (I love how he still strokes silky tags while sucking his thumb – because that means he is STILL a baby to me!) and lay his head on my chest and we had a MOMENT. I just held my son and he LET me, and I told him how much I love him and he told me how much he loves me (without any jokes or silliness). For the longest five minutes. And then he let me dress him for school. Something which has become off limits to me. Both he and Hannah just want to dress themselves, and I must not interfere. Which is great, I love that they are growing and can do all these tasks themselves, but today I enjoyed getting him dressed. Then he pounced on Hannah with his loud raucous laughing and she got up crying because he is so blinking wild, this boy child of mine. And that killed the moment I tell you.
But I had my moment! It got me thinking about how our “moments” will probably become less as they grow older? Especially with my son. Don’t’ get me wrong, I’m happy with hugs and kisses and “I love yous” because for a kid, that’s usually enough. They don’t need time to stand still, Hosanna playing in the background while everything goes into slow motion while in a tight embrace with their parent, come on, that’s for crazy people. But everyday gives me an opportunity for a moment and I hope I am quick to recognise it and USE it while I am still able to. Even if it’s under duress. Even if it means pinning down a 16 year old Liam while his crazy mother gets her moment. It gives living in the moment a new meaning, doesn’t it!
When’s the last time you had a moment with your child?