Here I sit, 36 weeks pregnant pondering life. On the precipice of probably the most life changing event of my 30s.
I’m cool. I’ve got this. Life’s peachy.
But that doesn’t mean the fear of being out numbered by our children doesn’t grip me at 2am. I don’t know that fear is the right word. I’m not afraid, not even anxious about having this baby. I think he’ll fit right into the space in our family that was carved out for him long before the foundations of the earth were laid down. He is God breathed and will fulfil his purpose as part of this family. That part I believe and trust undoubtedly.
It’s this other word that’s been bugging me. This swear word that we all think we like and throw around like confetti, but if truth be told, shrink back from. It’s something we all aspire to, yet avoid if we can. It’s the perfect paradox.
Hold your breath.
Here it comes..
The word is..
I ain’t about to wax lyrical about the 6978 quotes that any search engine would throw out at you if you punched in the word Change. We know them all. We know it’s good. We know we could all benefit from changing certain things in our lives. It’s so easy, that it’s almost laughable.. if you don’t like it, Change it. Right?
But truthfully we all love the feeling of our comfort zones. We ease into them, and let them conform, comfort and cushion us the same way it feels to sink into your Coricraft couch at the end of a long day.
I love the outcome or result of making a change..
1. Eat less food, lose the weight
2. Cut the credit card, spend less money
3. Give your husband more sex, keep him happy.
I mean the end result is always justified. But it’s the other part of change that we despise.
Waaaaah. The process.
I hate the process.
We all want the prize without the process.
We want the end result of change without going through the process that change brings.
It’s about taking that road less travelled, fighting your way through the wilderness of the process before you even start to see the results of making that change.
And that’s me. The process of turning this family of 4 into a family of 5. The process of reconditioning and rescrambling the comfort zone of our current lives for the new one. The better one. The one I see 20 / 30 years from now.
And when I truly think about it and I’m truly honest with myself, it’s got very little to do with this burgeoning life in my belly. Sure, he has been the catalyst. The catalyst for many changes that hang on the horizon for not only this family but for my work and business and personal goals. He will be ground zero for the new life I want to build, for the road less travelled I’m about to set on, for the future that holds so many changes I know I need to make.
Wretching one’s self away from that which is comfortable is hard. It does not come without it’s challenges. The road less travelled is lonely and scary. Its expensive. Costing us physically and emotionally. But we keep our eyes on the prize. We cut through the rough, we glean from those pioneers of change around us, and we tread carefully where our feet don’t know where they’ll land.
Man, I’m talking to you. That dream stashed away in your heart, go for it. That job you hate, leave it. That failed business plan, have another go. We going nowhere without making the Change.
My Change beckons me like Eve to the Apple. I can feel it, taste it.
As a mom, I’m going to put this to bed with a reference to a children’s fairy tale of course..
Put your Red Riding Hood on, take the road less travelled and slay that big bad wolf.