Tag Archives: five years old

I think I actually like my kids?

This weekend we had the pleasure of being kid-free two nights in a row. One was planned, and the other was a spur of the moment thing. But the point I really want to make is how your kids get to a certain age where a kid-free night is wonderful but not the same as THOSE days when you would have considered leaving the baby in the house alone, in your desperation for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Sorry for those of you still in  the throes of this phase!

It was one of those moments when I was like “wow, these kids are BIG.” And while it was great not to have to get up and fix breakfast, put out sibling squabbles and have my ear chewed off by a very talkative 4 year old, I must admit that I missed them. The kids go to bed at 8pm and I don’t hear a peep out of them until I wake them up the next day. My mother called one Friday night and it was just after 8 and she was like “are the kids in bed already, it’s Friday?” In my house, the days of the week or the occasion make no difference, bed time is bed time. The only time we deviate is if we have visitors and for REALLY special occasions like the Soccer World Cup where I allowed them to stay up for the opening ceremony – which they found utterly boring. So my sleep is uninterrupted, I love my sleep and they’ve reached an age where they do to!

So my point is, having them spend the night away from me is not as exciting as it used to be! And strangely, I missed them not being around. Husband had things to take care of on Saturday morning so I was home alone, and I felt quite bleak without them. Is this the age where parents actually start to enjoy the company of their children? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy alone time as much as the next run down mother, but without me realising it, I think I’ve actually reached a stage of LIKING my children and WANTING to be around them. Now now, don’t judge. Parenting is not all about the fun loving stuff that people put on their IG pictures. Most of the time, those first few years are just plain HARD and tiring and annoying. You love your kid, you’d jump in front of a moving bus for your kid, you love each smile and giggle, but it’s hard work.. often very thankless. And I won’t lie and say I didn’t wish those sleepless nights and those horrible teething patches and those stinky diapers away, because I did! And even though I’d do it ten times over without hesitation if you asked me to go through it all again, I must say that this actual LIKE I have for my kids at this age is rather surprising and refreshing.

Needless to say when they got home, they hadn’t missed me AT ALL. My 100s of questions were answered with as little detail as possible and all they wanted to do was to be left alone to play secret games with each other and have as little to do with me as possible. The nerve. I forced everyone to have lunch around the table so we could TALK because we were not going to be there for dinner on Saturday night and after that, they scurried off to do their own thing again.

I must say this is all weird to me – this growing up business. And weirder still because I clearly remember a day crying in my kitchen with a crying toddler wrapped around my thigh and a crying baby on my hip , thinking WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER, LORD!!!! And now that we are here, it’s weird but all kinds of awesome too. I like my kids, they are cool. I want to spend time with them. I want to hear their opinions. I want them to laugh at my jokes. I want them to LIKE me as much as I LIKE them. I actually WANT to go on holiday with them! After Cape Town 2011 – a disaster family holiday, I didn’t think those words would ever come out of my mouth! I love being able to do my own thing while they are somewhere else in the house. I like them popping their little heads around the door to make sure I am OK and asking “are you googling on your iPad again, mama?”

This is the age of AWESOME for me. It truly is!

Boy child turns FIVE.

My son. The fruit of my loins. My first born. The apple of my eye. My son who will carry the family name. Boy child with the imagination of a storyteller and the heart of a saint. Boy with the mischievous smile and the sunrise in his eyes. Son who worships the ground his mother walks on and mother who would do anything for her son. Son who is so like his mother, yet so very unique. A son was born unto me who would change my world forever. It wasn’t by chance, it was by Divine Orchestration. God looked at me and said “I know you Robyn Ann, I know exactly what would fill your heart to bursting. I made you, I know you better than you know yourself. Because I love you, and because I know every hair on your head and because I want to see you smile for a thousand years, BECAUSE you are so precious to me, I am going to gift you with the most beautiful gift and you will call him Liam John.”

Five years with you have not been easy. But it has been worth it. I am hard on you, I have great expectations of you. I want to see you over achieve and I want you to be imperfectly perfect in everything you do – that simply means I want you to do your best. You are so full of potential, I get so excited when I think about the endless possibilities your little life holds hidden in the creases of your beautiful brown skin. You are a good boy. You are a lovable boy. You are a kind boy. You are wonderful. You are everything I’d hoped for in a son. You are perfect to me. You are destined to be the GREATEST Liam John that you can be.

I want you to know that I love you unendingly and unconditionally. Even when I shout, I love you. Even when we argue, I love you. Even when you are being punished, I love you still. Nothing you do will ever change the way my heart beats for you. Being a mom is not easy, my son. It is a battlefield where it is easy to wound and easy to BE wounded – both parties have to endure and overcome many trials and challenges. But being your mom has proved to be my life’s best work. Raising you has opened up a Pandora’s Box of the most wonderful things I hadn’t known about myself – things I hadn’t figured out about myself until you came along. So you see, as much as I am raising you, it is YOU who is raising me too. Raising me to new heights of love, understanding, and JOY. Oh what JOY my children bring me. Granted, it isn’t joyous all the time (!!) but that’s just the thing about joy, isn’t it. It’s not the same thing as happiness which is temporary and which changes with the ebbs and flows of your mood. But JOY. Joy is something you are able to feel and hold onto regardless of the situation or circumstance. You bring me a joy that only a parent can understand. Watching you grow and flourish brings me a deep sated joy.  Through you, I have come to know and understand the love my own earthly parents have for me, but far more, I have come to understand the love that my heavenly Daddy has for me. He loves me like a child, I am his daughter and when I think of the love I have for YOU, Liam John, as MY child, and I think that my heavenly father loves me a million times more in a way that my human mind can’t attain – you have NO idea how that makes me feel. So through you, I have come to know my God better. Thank you for this.

We called you Liam John. Your name means Unwavering Protector, Strong Willed Warrior. As I’ve watched you develop from a toddler into a preschooler into a real Boy, I know we have chosen your name well. Already your name’s meaning has woven itself into the fibres of your being. You are so strong willed, always have been, you know what you want and you have the will and determination to keep going until you get it right. You look after your sister so well, even when the two of you fight (which is OFTEN), you will not let a disagreement cloud you from protecting her at all times. You recently came to have your first pet. The way you love and protect Rocky warms my heart, and I know that love is reciprocated and I can’t wait to watch this boy-dog relationship unfold.

Son, today you are FIVE. A whole handful of fingers. Even though I wish time would stand still on this moment where you are untouched by the real world, where your boy imagination is still ripe with little boy dreams and visions, I can’t wait to see the Liam John you turn out to be. You know why? Because if these past five years are anything to go on, you are going to be AMAZING, you are going to be AWESOME, you are going to be a WONDERBOY and I can’t wait to be with you every step of the way.

Assuring you of my constant love, admiration, pride and absolute pleasure at mothering you…

 Mom xx

some photos of your 5th birthday party…